About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
