With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
