she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
