good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
