Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
