So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
