The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
she peed on how many people?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
