A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
