Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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