no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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