and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
