party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
