I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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