No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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