You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
