Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
