did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
