Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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