She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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