Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
