I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
