No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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