So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
