I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
