I like my sex mixed with concussions.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
