Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I am mentally ready for anal.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
