how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
