Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
You did what with his pubic hair?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
