ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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