I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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