its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
