this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
