Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
