Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
