yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
