I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
