oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
