You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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