I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
