And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
