like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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