I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
