my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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