Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
