that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I love you.
Bad choice
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