shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
