are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
