the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
