hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
that is very illegal...i love you.
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