Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize