But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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