Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
