He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
