i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I use my feet as sexual weapons
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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