It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
