Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
