It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
