have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize