The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
