Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
