I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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